Why people need to stop talking about themselves

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Our default state is to always talk about ourselves, and it is exhausting. Most people do this.And not most people like it. Ironic, right?

Learn how to stop talking about yourself and be a good listener instead. Listening comes with its own set of benefits.

Look at your story or social media posts or the way you write and you’ll see a lot of “I”s.

Networking events are a great way to meet new people. Observe how many people you talk to try to make each story more interesting or better by raising their level of conversation.

Person #1: “I remember meeting J.K Rowling when I was working at a bookstore.”

Person #2: “I talked to a guy who got a hundred million dollar cheque when Facebook went public.”

Person #3: “I remember meeting this billionaire and she took me back home where we had a 500 year old wine while she showed me all her luxury cars, all 20 of them”.

As if they were playing Super Mario, each person is trying to level up the next person.

As we’ve seen, this leveling up game extends to social media — a new way to talk about oneself and appear intelligent, developing something intangible, which is known as a ‘brand.’

It’s like Black Friday without the discounted sales, but we’re always tempted to talk about ourselves. We are harming our conversations and boosting our egos by focusing on it.

The Benefits of Listening Instead of Speaking

It may take some effort to stop talking about ourselves since it is almost addictive. Here are a few tips for listening instead of talking.

  1. Always keep in mind whose story you are hearing. Take the time to listen. If you are hearing a story, whose is it? You shouldn’t take over another’s story by sharing your own.
  2. Learn from others, not just tell them what you know. I enjoy telling funny stories. I don’t have trouble jumping into a conversation as an entertainer. While sometimes that is appropriate, I am also interested in learning more about others, about their values, their experiences.
  3. Make sure you ask probing questions. Questions are a great way to listen. Then what?” or “Wow, how’d that happen?” In that case, you are not addressing yourself. Asking questions is an important part of intentional conversation.
  4. Don’t spend too much time talking about yourself. Keep your sharing brief for the sake of the other person. Invite them to share by asking a question. “You’ve probably experienced a lot with this, how about you?” or “How do you feel?”
  5. You are talking about yourself when you use the words I, Me, and My. The focus of the conversation is shifted to you when you say, “My company also does…”. Keep them focused on the other person by using You and Your instead. Would you mind telling me what you think?” or “What did you do this weekend?” or “Anywhere you went on vacation?”

Focusing on the other person may require some discipline on your part. This will give them a sense of value and respect as if you are giving them a gift. This will make them happy.

Hi, I'm Raj Hirvate and I am a Tech Blogger from India. I like to post about technology and product reviews to the readers of my blog. Apart from blogging i'm a big Anime fan I Love Watching Naruto, One piece and Death Note.

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