You hear people say expect less,give more and stuff like that but is that really possible for you to do so.Dont you feel like if you do that,others will take advantage of you.You are a nice person and your friends ask you to stop being that nice.So you question how much nice is too much nice?This read will help you answer those questions. There is alot confusion between expectations and standards. So here you will find some illustrated examples.
The thing is you are making a fear driven decision to do things by which people won’t be able to take advantage of you.Today we are going to make a shift in that mentality and make a love driven decision to love yourselves and have high standards.Love yourself enough to give yourselves everything that you think you need from others may it be time, attention,love, appreciation,money, security,support,etc.There is nothing that you cant give yourself.When you give more to yourselves,you naturally start expecting less from others.
Now let’s talk about standards. Standards are deciding for yourself what you want in your life or how you want your life to be.
For example:-
Expectations say- Don’t cheat on me. Why cant you be loyal to me?Why did you do this?I really loved you.
Standards say- I deserve loyality,it’s your choice to give or leave.If you cheat I say bye bye.
Observe carefully expectations tries to take control over others whereas standard takes control over your own life. No matter how much you love others,You cannot control other people and other things around you(thats the reason you are reading this article)but you can control yourself. It’s enough control,it has so much power in deciding for yourself,loving and respecting yourself. So choose your standards and stick along with it and respect them till your last breath.
When it’s comes to leaving a cheater or a toxic friend or a bad business partner,Remind yourself – It’s okey,I did not deserve this,I love you and appreciate the good in myself and how far I have come,I learnt these positive things from this experience and it will take time but I will be okey.
Some other standards you can have are-
I deserve to be treated good
I deserve to be loved and cared
I choose to stay away from toxic relations
I don’t move that quick to makeout on a first date.
I choose to give this much time for myself and my friends
My dreams are worth striving for.
Add accordingly
You need to respect your standards or no one else will. Having standards will also make sure you surround yourself with good people that respect you and have more positivity in your life.
Give what makes you happy,so it won’t feel like a sacrifice and you won’t bring expectations into the relationship like “I did this much for you and you can’t do this for me”.Instead give things like gifts,attention,love,etc which makes your heart happy to give and are not like a burden. But as you practice self love ,you will learn to give more and more without hesitation.Remember Love is about giving,not getting. You don’t pluck a flower if you love it,you water it everyday.
It’s good to have hopes of convincing someone, winning something,as it creates more possibilities for you. But at the same time don’t expect for it to happen a certain way. Many times life has a funny way to change your path but it makes you strong enough to gain what you truely wanted all along. Thank you for reading this longass article.Hope it helped you.